Funeral Thank-You Card Wording: Messages From the Family
After a funeral, the cards are one of the last jobs left, and they can feel like the hardest. You are tired. The list is long. And every person on it did something you want to thank them for properly.
A funeral thank-you card needs only three things: the person's name, what they did, and a line on what it meant to your family. "Thank you for the white lilies. They were beautiful, and they meant so much to all of us" is a complete note. Two or three sentences is plenty. Sign it with your name or as the family.
Below are more than 50 messages, sorted by who you are thanking: people who sent condolences, people who came to the service, the pallbearers, the officiant, the funeral home, hospice and nurses, coworkers, neighbors, friends, and the whole list at once. Take any of them and change the words to sound like you. Where a message names the person who died, we've used Ruth; put in the name your family used.
Contents
- What do you write in a funeral thank-you card?
- Short funeral thank-you messages
- Thank you for a sympathy card or condolences
- Thank you for coming to the service
- Thank you to the pallbearers
- Thank you to the officiant or clergy
- Thank you to the funeral home staff
- Thank you to hospice and nurses
- Thank you to coworkers and an employer
- Thank you to neighbors who helped
- Thank you to family who helped
- Thank you to friends of the person who died
- Thank you for funeral flowers
- Thank you for a memorial donation
- One message for the whole list, or a group
- A late funeral thank-you card
- How to sign a funeral thank-you card
- What to leave out
- Sending the cards when the list is long
What do you write in a funeral thank-you card?
Open with the person's name, thank them for the specific thing they did, add one line about what it meant, and sign it. That is the whole shape, for a close friend or for someone you met once at the service. What changes from card to card is the second line.
| Part | What it does | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Greeting | Names the person | Dear Carol, |
| The thanks | Says what they did | Thank you for the white lilies. |
| What it meant | One honest line | They were beautiful, and they meant so much to all of us. |
| Closing | Signs for the family | With heartfelt thanks, The Lee Family |
Keep it short. The person reading it knows you are grieving, and they don't expect a letter. A specific line ("the lilies", "the casserole on Tuesday", "driving four hours to be there") does more than a long one.
If you have a long list to thank, ShipNote can print and mail the cards for you. You paste the list you already have: the guest book, the florist's cards, the list the charity sent, or a photo of a notebook page. You write one note. Each card then names that person and what they did. Where your list says "lilies", that card reads "Thank you for the lilies"; where it says someone gave to the hospice, it reads "Thank you for your gift to the hospice." Where the list says nothing, the card reads "Thank you for your kindness and support." The cards are printed, stamped and mailed the next business day, or held until a date you choose. The rest of this page is the wording, and any message here can be the note.
Short funeral thank-you messages
When you have many cards to write, one line is enough. These work on their own or as the middle of a longer note.
- Thank you for your kindness. It meant so much to our family.
- Thank you for being with us. We felt your support.
- Thank you for thinking of us during such a hard time.
- Your kind words were a comfort. Thank you.
- Thank you for the flowers and for keeping us in your thoughts.
- We are grateful for your friendship, now more than ever.
- Thank you for everything you did for our family these past weeks.
- Your note arrived on a hard day, and it helped. Thank you.
Thank you for a sympathy card or condolences
A sympathy card or a kind message deserves a short note back. This is the card people search for most ("thank you for your condolences"), and it can be the simplest on the list.
- Thank you for your kind card. Reading it reminded us how many people loved Ruth.
- Thank you for your thoughtful words. We have read your card more than once.
- Your message meant so much to us. Thank you for taking the time to write.
- Thank you for your condolences, and for the story about the summer at the lake. We had never heard it, and it made us smile.
- Thank you for reaching out. Your call that first week helped more than you know.
Thank you for coming to the service
Someone who came to the visitation, the funeral or the memorial gave you their time on a hard day. If they travelled, say so.
- Thank you for being with us at the service. It meant so much to see you there.
- Thank you for coming to say goodbye. Seeing so many friends in that room was a comfort.
- Thank you for making the trip. Seeing you there meant more than we can say.
- We know how far you travelled to be with us. Thank you. It meant the world to all of us.
- Thank you for coming to the visitation, and for the hug at the door. We needed it.
Thank you to the pallbearers
Carrying the casket is an honor and a hard job. A pallbearer's card can be a little longer and more personal than most.
- Thank you for serving as a pallbearer. We know it was not easy, and we will not forget it.
- Thank you for carrying Ruth on her last day with us. She thought the world of you, and so do we.
- Thank you for standing with our family when we needed you most. It meant everything to have you there.
Thank you to the officiant or clergy
The person who led the service, whether a member of the clergy, an officiant or a family friend, shaped the day. Mention one thing they said or did. If you gave an honorarium, the card is still worth sending, and it doesn't need to mention the payment.
- Thank you for leading the service. Your words gave us comfort that day, and they still do.
- Thank you for taking the time to get to know Ruth through our stories. The service sounded like her, and that was a gift to all of us.
- Thank you for guiding us through the planning and the day itself. We could not have done it without you.
Thank you to the funeral home staff
A short card to the funeral director and staff is a kindness they remember. Address it to the director by name, or to the staff of the funeral home.
- Thank you for taking such good care of our family. Every detail was handled with patience and kindness.
- Thank you for making a hard week easier. You answered every question we had, some of them twice.
- To everyone at the funeral home: thank you for your care and your calm. It helped more than we can say.
Thank you to hospice and nurses
Many families send their warmest card to the hospice team or the nurses who cared for the person at the end. Send it to the unit or the hospice office, and name anyone you remember.
- Thank you for the care you gave Ruth in her last weeks. You made her comfortable, and you made us feel less alone.
- To the nurses on the fourth floor: thank you for your kindness, day and night. We will always be grateful.
- Thank you for the time you spent with us, not just with Ruth. You answered our questions and sat with us when we needed it.
- Thank you to the whole hospice team. Your care let us spend those last days together at home.
Thank you to coworkers and an employer
Coworkers often send one card or one arrangement from the whole team. One card back to the team is right, addressed to the office. Thank a manager or employer separately for the time off.
- Thank you all for the flowers and the card. It meant so much to know my colleagues were thinking of me.
- Thank you for the time and the space to be with my family. Your understanding made a hard month easier.
- To everyone on the team: thank you for covering for me and for your kind messages. I am grateful to work with you.
- Thank you for coming to the service. Seeing my coworkers there was a comfort I didn't expect.
Thank you to neighbors who helped
Neighbors are the ones who bring food, mow the lawn and walk the dog. Name the thing they did. It is what they will remember.
- Thank you for the meals. We did not have to think about dinner for a week, and that was a kindness we felt every evening.
- Thank you for looking after the house while we were away. Coming home to a mowed lawn and a full fridge meant so much.
- Thank you for walking Biscuit every morning. It was one less thing to worry about, and he loved it.
- Thank you for checking on us. Your knock on the door that first evening was a kindness we won't forget.
Thank you to family who helped
Families often forget to thank their own. If a cousin set up the reception or a sister-in-law made every phone call, a card says what a hug in the kitchen might not.
- Thank you for organizing the reception. You thought of everything, so we didn't have to.
- Thank you for making all those calls. It was a hard job, and you did it with so much care.
- Thank you for staying with us that week. Having you in the house made everything easier.
Thank you to friends of the person who died
Friends of the person who died often grieve on the edge of the family. A card that tells them how much they mattered is one of the kindest you can send.
- Thank you for being such a good friend to Ruth for all those years. She talked about you often.
- Thank you for the stories you shared at the reception. We learned things about her we never knew.
- Thank you for coming, and for loving her too. It helps to know how many people miss her.
Thank you for funeral flowers
Flowers are the most common gift after a death. Name the flowers if you know them, and say where they went.
- Thank you for the beautiful arrangement. It stood beside the guest book, and so many people stopped to look at it.
- Thank you for the peace lily. It is on the kitchen windowsill, and it reminds us of you every morning.
For flowers from a group or a company, flowers sent to the house rather than the funeral home, and plants, see thank-you notes for funeral flowers, donations and food.
Thank you for a memorial donation
A gift to a charity in the person's memory gets a card, and it never mentions the amount. The charity usually tells the family who gave, though not always how much.
- Thank you for your gift to the hospice. It is a kindness that will go on helping people, and we are grateful.
- Thank you for your memorial gift. Ruth cared about that work, and it means so much that her name is helping it.
There are more donation messages, and messages for money, food and Mass cards, in the post on funeral flowers, donations and gifts.
One message for the whole list, or a group
Some people did something you don't know about, or signed the guest book and left. One warm message can go to all of them, and to a group such as a church committee, a club or a team.
- Thank you for your kindness and support. Your thoughtfulness has meant more to our family than words can say.
- Thank you for being there for us. Every card, call and visit helped us through these weeks.
- To all of you: thank you for the flowers, the food, the cards and the company. We felt held by our community.
A late funeral thank-you card
There is no deadline. If months have passed, say so in one line and then thank them as you would have.
- Thank you for the flowers. We are later with this note than we meant to be, and your patience has been one more kindness.
- It has taken us a while to sit down and write these. Your kindness has stayed with us the whole time. Thank you.
- We wanted to thank you properly, and it took us some time. Thank you for being there when we needed you.
For how long families usually take, see when to send funeral thank-you cards.
How to sign a funeral thank-you card
Sign with the closing that sounds like your family, then your name or the family's name. Any of these is correct:
| Closing | Use it for |
|---|---|
| With heartfelt thanks | Anyone on the list |
| With gratitude | Clergy, the funeral home, an employer |
| With love | Close friends and family |
| Gratefully | A short, plain card |
Then sign as "The Lee Family", as both of you ("Sam and Alex"), or with your own name. When one person writes on behalf of everyone, say so:
- On behalf of all of us, thank you for your kindness. Ruth's children and grandchildren are grateful.
- Mom asked me to write and thank you for the flowers. They meant so much to her, and to all of us.
What to leave out
- The amount of a gift. Thank someone for "your generous gift", never for "$100".
- The details of the death. The card is about the person you're thanking.
- Apologies for a short note. A short note is the normal note.
- Anything you would not say out loud. If a line feels forced, cut it. "Thank you for being there" is enough.
Sending the cards when the list is long
A family can split the list and write by hand over a few weeks. That is a good way to do it, and many families do. If the list runs to 40 or 80 names and nobody has the time, you can have the cards printed and mailed instead.
On ShipNote, a funeral thank-you card opens on the Botanical design: a laurel wreath and "With Thanks", with no photograph. The back starts with this note, which you can keep, edit, or replace with any message above:
Dear [RECIPIENT],
Thank you for [GIFT_NAME]. Your thoughtfulness has meant more to our family than words can say.
With heartfelt thanks, [YOUR NAME]
[RECIPIENT] becomes each person's name from your list, and [GIFT_NAME] becomes what they did, written to finish the sentence: "the white lilies", "your gift to the hospice", "being with us at the service". A row with nothing beside the name prints "your kindness and support". The phrase is written without a dollar amount, even when your list has one. Replace [YOUR NAME] with how your family signs, and every card is signed that way. On the review step you can open any single card and add a line, for the pallbearers or the officiant, without changing the rest.
If you are missing an address, keep the name on the list. When you press Next: Review, that row is flagged with a link you can text to the person so they can type in their own address. Each card is a 4x6 postcard, printed on both sides with First-Class postage, at $1.99 a card on 10 or more, or $2.49 a card for fewer. Cards mail the next business day, or on a day you choose.
Paste the list, write one note, and each card names its own reason. Printed, stamped and mailed for you.
Related reading
- Thank-you notes for funeral flowers, donations and food: who sent what, and what to write for each kind of gift.
- Funeral thank-you card etiquette: who gets a card, when to send them and how to address them.
- How to write a thank-you note: the steps behind any note, with worked examples.
A long list to thank?
Paste the list, write one note, and each card names that person and what they did. We print, stamp and mail every one.
Write the cardsCommon questions
One sentence that names what the person did is enough. For example: Thank you for the beautiful flowers and for keeping our family in your thoughts. Or: Thank you for being with us at the service. It meant more than we can say. Sign it with your name or as the family.
Send each person a short card that says the same warm thing, and add what they did where you know it. A note such as Thank you for your kindness and support. Your thoughtfulness has meant more to our family than words can say works for the whole list. Many families also post a short thank-you in the obituary or the funeral home's online guestbook, then mail cards to the people who sent flowers, gave to a charity, brought food or helped.
It can, and it often helps. A line such as The yellow roses were just right, or It meant so much to hear your stories, makes the note personal. It is just as correct to leave the name out and simply thank the person for what they did.
Whoever writes it, on behalf of the family. Sign with your own name, with both names of a couple, or as The Lee Family. When one person writes for everyone, a line such as On behalf of all of us, thank you makes that clear.
No. Most families send their cards within a few weeks to two months, but there is no deadline. A late card can say so in one line: We are later with this note than we meant to be, and your patience has been one more kindness.
