Thank-You Notes for Funeral Flowers, Donations and Food

After a funeral, the flowers fade and the cards remain. Somewhere there is a stack of florist's cards, a list from the charity and a notebook of who brought which dish. Each of those is a thank-you to write.

A thank-you note for funeral flowers thanks the sender by name, mentions the flowers, and adds one line about what they meant. "Thank you for the white lilies. They were beautiful, and they meant so much to all of us" is enough. A donation, food or money gets the same three lines, with the gift named and the amount left out.

This post covers each kind of gift, with messages for each, and then the practical part most families get stuck on: working out who sent what. Where a message names the person who died, we've used Ruth; put in the name your family used.

Contents

• How do you thank someone for funeral flowers?
• How do you know who sent the flowers?
• How do you thank someone for a memorial donation?
• Thank you for a sympathy gift
• Thank you for money
• Thank you for food and meals
• Thank you for a Mass card
• When one person sent more than one thing
• Is it proper etiquette to send thank-you cards for funeral flowers?
• Sending the cards

How do you thank someone for funeral flowers?

Name the flowers if you know them, say something true about them, and thank the person for thinking of your family. You don't need to describe the arrangement in detail. "The yellow roses" or "the beautiful arrangement" is enough, and a line on where they stood or who noticed them makes the card feel personal.

1. Thank you for the beautiful flowers. They brightened a very hard week.
2. Thank you for the yellow roses. They were her favorite, and you remembered.
3. Thank you for thinking of us. The arrangement was lovely, and so many people stopped to admire it.
4. Thank you for the flowers and for your kind words on the card. Both meant so much.

If you have a long list to thank, ShipNote can print and mail the cards for you. Paste the list you already have, whether that is the florist's cards typed up, the charity's list or a photo of a notebook page. You write one note. Each card then names that person and what they sent: "Thank you for the white lilies", "Thank you for your gift to the hospice", "Thank you for the meals you brought." A dollar amount on your list is not written on the card. Every card is printed, stamped and mailed the next business day, or held until a date you choose.

Flowers sent to the funeral home

These are the arrangements by the casket or the photo, and the family often sees them only during the visitation. Mention the service.

5. Thank you for the arrangement you sent to the service. It stood beside her photo, and it was beautiful.
6. Thank you for the flowers at the funeral home. We took them home afterward, and they lasted another week.

Flowers sent to the house

Flowers that arrive at the house are lived with. Say where they are.

7. Thank you for the flowers you sent to the house. They are on the dining table, and they make the room feel less empty.
8. Thank you for the bouquet. It arrived on the hardest day of the week, and it helped.

A plant

A plant outlasts the funeral, and many families keep one for years. Say that you will.

9. Thank you for the peace lily. It is on the kitchen windowsill, and we will take good care of it.
10. Thank you for the plant. It will be in the garden by spring, and we will think of you every time it blooms.

Flowers from a company, a team or a group

When the card says "from your friends at the office" or "the book club", send one card to the group: to the office address, to the person who organized it, or to the club's meeting place.

11. To everyone at the office: thank you for the beautiful flowers. It meant so much to know you were thinking of us.
12. Thank you to the book club for the lovely arrangement. Ruth treasured those Tuesday evenings with you all.

How do you know who sent the flowers?

Each arrangement arrives with a small card from the florist naming the sender. The funeral home collects those cards, and many write a list of every arrangement for the family. Ask the funeral director for both before you leave. For flowers sent to the house, keep each florist's card as it comes and write on the back what the arrangement was.

Where to look:

Florists can often tell you who placed an order if a card went missing; call with the date and the name on the delivery. The charity usually gives names and addresses, and some leave the amount off. That is fine. You never need the amount.

Those lists are the mailing list. Put them together in one place, with what each person did beside their name, and the cards are mostly written.

How do you thank someone for a memorial donation?

Thank them for the gift in the person's memory, name the charity if you know it, and leave the amount out. A donation note can say why the cause mattered. If the charity's list didn't give an amount, nothing changes: you were never going to write it.

13. Thank you for your gift to the hospice. It is a kindness that will go on helping people, and we are grateful.
14. Thank you for your memorial gift. Ruth cared about that work, and it means so much that her name is helping it.
15. Thank you for remembering her with a gift to the animal shelter. She would have loved that.
16. Thank you for your generous gift in Ruth's memory. The hospice team cared for her so well, and your gift will help them care for the next family.
17. Thank you for your donation to the library fund. We can't think of a better way to remember a woman who read every night of her life.

Thank you for a sympathy gift

A sympathy gift might be a blanket, a book, a framed photo, a candle or a memorial ornament. Name the gift and say how you're using it.

18. Thank you for the soft blanket. It has been on the couch since the day it came, and we have needed it.
19. Thank you for the framed photo. We had never seen that picture, and it is on the mantel now.
20. Thank you for the memorial ornament. It will go on the tree every year, and we will think of you when it does.
21. Thank you for the book. I have been reading a few pages each night, and it helps.

Thank you for money

Money given to a family after a death often helps with the funeral or the weeks after. Thank them for their generosity, say what it helped with if you like, and never write the amount.

22. Thank you for your generous gift. It helped us more than you know during a hard month.
23. Thank you for your gift. It went toward the reception, and it let us give everyone a proper meal after the service.
24. Thank you for your kindness and your generosity. We are grateful to have friends like you.

Thank you for food and meals

Food is the gift people forget to thank for, because it arrives in the busiest days. Name the dish if you remember it, or say what it meant not to have to cook.

25. Thank you for the meals. We did not have to think about dinner for a week, and that was a kindness we felt every evening.
26. Thank you for the lasagna. It fed everyone who stayed at the house that first night.
27. Thank you for organizing the meal sign-up. Every evening someone knocked on the door with dinner, and we know that was you.
28. Thank you for the breakfast basket. Coffee and muffins on the morning of the service were exactly what we needed.

Thank you for a Mass card

A Mass card tells the family that the sender has arranged for a Mass to be said in the person's memory. It gets a thank-you note like any other card. Thank them for remembering the person this way.

29. Thank you for the Mass card. It means so much to know Ruth is being remembered.
30. Thank you for your thoughtfulness in arranging a Mass in her memory. We are grateful.

When one person sent more than one thing

Thank them for both in the same sentence, in plain words: "Thank you for the flowers and the meals." You don't need two cards. If a household sent flowers and then came to the service, one card can say both.

31. Thank you for the flowers and the meals. You took care of us that whole week.
32. Thank you for the beautiful arrangement and for being with us at the service. Both meant so much.

When you paste a list into ShipNote, rows that are clearly the same person become one card, with one phrase such as "the flowers and the meals". You can check and change every phrase before anything prints.

Is it proper etiquette to send thank-you cards for funeral flowers?

Yes. A card for flowers is one of the few thank-yous after a funeral that most families send. It doesn't need to be long, and it doesn't need to be quick: most families send their cards within a few weeks to two months, and a later card is fine. For who else gets a card, when to send them and how to address them, see funeral thank-you card etiquette.

If you can't tell who sent something and no list helps, a general note to the people you think it came from is better than none. For wording for the service, the pallbearers, the officiant and the rest of the list, see funeral thank-you card wording.

Sending the cards

Once the florist's cards, the charity's list and your notes are together, you can write the cards by hand over a few weeks, or split them between family members. If there are dozens of them, you can have them printed and mailed instead.

On ShipNote, you paste the list or upload a photo of it, and each person's row shows what they did, written to finish "Thank you for": "the white lilies", "your gift to the hospice", "the meals you brought". A row with only a name prints "your kindness and support". You write one note, or keep the one it starts with, and each card fills in its own name and reason. The cards open on the Botanical design, a laurel wreath and "With Thanks", with no photograph. They cost $1.99 a card on 10 or more, or $2.49 a card for fewer, with First-Class postage included, and they mail the next business day or on a date you choose.

Related reading

• Funeral thank-you card wording: more than 50 messages from the family, by who you are thanking.
• Funeral thank-you card etiquette: who gets a card, when to send them and how to address them.